pollyanna

Although anger is common in the abused female, it is frequently pushed into the unconscious at the time of the abuse; when the abused becomes aware of her anger, it frequently has become rage. Women who were sexually abused as children grow up repressing anger; as a result they may enter adulthood totally unaware of the rage that lies within them. She further suggested that those who have been most affected by such abuse may be unable to verbalize their pain and anger.

Child sexual abuse is a violation that affects every aspect of a child's life. Trusting relationships may be brought into question for a child once sexual boundaries have been violated. Children's perceptions of the world and those around them become distorted as a result of this trauma. Blume further described the violation:

Then imagine it as constant, unpredictable but inevitable . What sense of control over your life would you be able to salvage? The lesson is, why try? Why even use your voice if it is never heard? The child's life becomes like the nightmare that many of us have had: We're in danger, we open our mouths to scream for help, and nothing comes out.

Anger is unexpressed by sexually abused children, who fear reprisal or fear that love will be withheld.(Blume, 1990).

Some survivors of childhood sexual abuse are unable to recognize and accept their anger. Others act out their anger over and over by displacing or projecting it, or they may overreact in situations that do not warrant an anger response (Blume,1990).

According to Maltz (1991), sexual abuse can affect survivors' ability to establish and maintain healthy sexual relationships in adulthood. A definition of child sexual abuse given by DePanfilis (1987), which included "a wide range of mistreatment, from fondling and exhibitionism, to rape, or exploitation through prostitution or pornographic materials" (p. 1) that was used for the purposes of this study.

Blume (1990) defined rage as "the emotional consequence of entrapment, abuse, and a lifetime of protests that couldn't be made, of anger that could not be let out" (p. 141). Withdrawal from the situation was a way for these women to internalize rageful feelings.

The rage gets triggered when I feel safe enough to allow it to be out. It's more like I'm in control, because I made the situation happen to where I am having boundaries put on me, and then the boundaries, and that safety of having those boundaries with someone I feel safe with and care about is what triggers it (rage) . . . It's like having someone to provide me with boundaries and someone I know that's not going to hurt me, and then it somehow gets confused, and it triggers that anger, aggression, and rage, and it gets fully expressed. It's a sort of out of-control fighting, and fighting back, and physically expressing it though. . . with someone who feels safe. That triggers it more than anything.

According to learning theory (Bandura, 1977), such early experiences taught them a new way to think about themselves, intimate relationships, trust, and safety. As children they had to incorporate this new information with an altered view of their world and adjust their behaviors to attempt to protect themselves. Some of the behaviors that resulted may have had short-term benefits, but others were unhealthy and compromised their ability to relate to the rest of the world as adults.

In some way, all the subjects learned to control their emotions to survive.

Anger directed outward was not possible for the subjects as children. They learned to channel this anger in different ways as it became more intense and as they grew older. Some directed it toward themselves in the form of self-harm while others acted it out in unstable, intensely self-destructive relationships; and still others displayed symptoms of mental illness.

Although all the subjects involved in this study were presently in some form of treatment, insight comes slowly, and as Herman (1992) wrote, distortions are not easily or quickly changed by new corrective experiences. Each of the subjects lived through many painful experiences as an adult before she was able to incorporate new insights and institute behavioral change.

Painter, Susan G. Rage and Women's Sexuality After Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Phenomenological Study. Perspectives in Psychiatric Care. January-March 1999

Trust is a crucial issue for many
survivors throughout their lives. They
were betrayed by the very people
who cared for them, who insisted
they loved them even while abusing
them. Often, a sense of a just world is
denied children who are sexually
abused. Learning to trust can be next
to impossible under these
circumstances.(14)

Dissociation refers to the ability to
escape stressful or harmful situations
by creating another place for the
mind to go. The intense pain of
sexual abuse creates a situation
where the victim, in order to cope, must try to dissociate from her body
to leave the situation the only way
she can. In simpler terms, it can be
described as a type of daydreaming, a
need to find a place for the mind (and
ultimately one’s self) to hide while
being sexually abused.(17)

Multiple personality is
described as the process of dividing
one’s self up into many different parts
to handle the many painful
experiences of the past.(18)

Coping mechanisms can also be
described as Survival Strategies. These
strategies have been utilized by
survivors in the past, or they are using
them at present to help numb the pain
of the abuse. They are also used to
control feelings, which may threaten to
overwhelm survivors.

National Clearinghouse on Family Violence (Canada)